Trampled Thorns
by lilpinkpiglet
Summary: Dimtri leaves Rose. How will she cope? RxD RxOCC
1. Prolonge

**"AN: Hey,**

**My story looks really long and what not. Like I know some people will click on it**

**And then decide that its too long for them to read at this time.**

**Its actually not. All of the chapters are like a page or so. So try it out please.**

**It wont't take you forever to read I promise**

**Thanks everyone**

**Lily**

It all started one night. A quiet knock broke my restless sleep.

"Rose, wake up. I have to talk to you."

I pulled myself out of bed walking slowly to the door.

"Dimitri? What are you doing here?" I asked him, "I thought we were trying to stay away from each other."

"Rose I have to go back home." His face showed no emotion. "I'm sorry to leave you but something has come up."

"Wait, Russia, your going back to Russia? Why??"

He stared at me for a second as though debating wether to tell me.

He looked as though he was trying to find the right way to say it but finally he just came out with it and said, "Rose, I wish I could explain but there isn't any time."

I simply looked at him. The more I looked, the more I realized how vulnerable he looked.

"Are you coming back?" I asked him, dreading the answer

"No."

"Never? I mean you are Lissa's guardian and stuff."

"I can't be her guardian anymore." A flash of guilt past over his face before returning to the mask. "I am going to be Tasha's guardian…when I get back."

"But what about us? I mean we had something right? You can't just leave me."

Then he turned and looked at me before he said, "What about us?"

He then turned and walked away but not before I saw a second person standing around the corner. A man with jade eyes.

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	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay this one is a little bit longer. Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I wish I do, I wish I do, I don't own Vampire Academy books  
**

I sunk to the ground. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, _hard._

I couldn't even cry. I felt numb. Slowly somehow I managed to drag myself to my bed.

I didn't even try to fall asleep. All I could think of was his way of telling me that as though he didn't care. It reminded of when he had to lied about his feelings to me except now I could feel it was real. As I replayed the scene in my head I realized something. Those jade eyes. I could never forget them. They belonged to my worst enemy. Victor couldn't be let out of prison, could he? No, it must have been my imagination.

I slowly stayed there, lying there on my bed shivering from shock and cold, until the sun had made its final rays. I wanted to stay there all day but then I heard another knock on my door. As soon I heard it I felt the feelings I was trying to ignore, Lissa's. I crept out of bed and opened the door. Lissa stood there. She smiled when I opened the door and said, "Jeeze Rose, you look….terrible."

She was a little scared about how different I looked. It shown true through the bond.

I tried to put on a brave face said, "Thanks Liss, I think you look amazing to."

"I was just wondering where you were. Are you sure you're okay? You look pretty bad.."

"Yah, I'm okay I guess. Look, let me get cleaned up and I'll meet you in your dorm. Go get your feeding, you look a little hungry."

Lissa eyed me before slowly saying," Okay but.."

I tried what felt like a smile, "Go I'll be okay"

I walked back into my room, almost jumping back when I saw myself in the mirror. Lissa was right. I _did_ look terrible. I looked scary. My hair was piled up on my head like an animal's nest. My eyes were bloodshot. I had to tell Lissa about Dimitri and everything. I thought I might go crazy if I didn't tell someone. I had to tell her now, today.

I wasn't in the mood to do much with my hair so after my shower I just pulled it back in a ponytail and put on some jeans and a t-shirt.

As I walked to Lissa's dorm my heart was slowly sinking, no more trainings, no more teasing, no nothing. I felt like I couldn't laugh anymore. I was nothing but numb. I don't think I could have smiled even if I wanted to.

As I reached the Moroi dorm my mind wandered back to those eyes, could it be just my imagination that they looked liked Victor's eyes?

I looked up; I had just past her dorm. I rolled my eyes at myself.

"Just great" I muttered, "I really am hopeless without—"

"Me?"

I rolled my eyes. Just what I needed. _Adrian._

"Go away! I don't need _you_ right now"

"Ouch, look I just wanted to say how sorry I was about everything.."

I stared at him," Cause you would know how I feel just perfectly."

"Well, worst enemy on the lose, no but I can pretend."

Worst enemy? On the lose? What was he talking about?

"What are you talking about Adrian?"

"Same thing your are."

"Ok, then what am I talking about?"

"Victor, he's been released"

**AN:Kinda cliff hanger...**

**Should dimitri leaving have something to do with victor?**

**REVIEW**

**Please  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:As much as i want to i spent my 3 wishes on the books so i dont own them. Richelle Mead does  
**

**:(  
**

I felt as though my entire life was falling apart. Dimitri gone, Victor out in the open. I wanted to lie down just where I was and forget about life, my life. But I couldn't. I wasn't Moroi, I wasn't a human. I wasn't taught to lay low. I wanted to but I knew I couldn't let somebody else take care of it. I was taught to fight back.

A voice interrupted my thoughts. Lissa's shock and fear flooded through me like rapids. She was scared, really scared.

"Victor's out of jail?!"

Her voice was almost hysterical in fear.

"Oh god, oh god!"

Even if I didn't have the bond I would have know what she was feeling. Her face betrayed it all.

Adrian confirmed her worst fear. "The queen felt so bad about putting royal in prison that she went back on her word."

"Are you serious? That can't be it!"

I almost sounded crazy.

Adrian nodded, "That's what I thought but that's what she told me.."

I heard and felt such fear that I almost had to sit down. Once again I had to pretend to be strong for Lissa.

"Lissa it's okay, I'm sure he wouldn't dream coming _here _and even if he did how would he get into the academy? Kiorvna wouldn't even think of letting him in."

I took a deep breath trying not to start crying. Half of me knew that when I reassured Lissa I was reassuring myself as well. For some reason it wasn't working today. I think Lissa was thinking the same thing because she didn't look to convinced.

"It's going to be okay, if he takes one_ step_ near you, I'll kick his ass all the way to Russia."

She looked a little bit relived and Adrian found this highly amusing.

"Watch out everybody, Rose Hathaway is here to play!"

I shot him my dirtiest look.

"Rose I hate to leave you on your own but I promised Christian I'd meet him soon and…"

I sighed," It's fine, go have fun."

I had really wanted to tell her about my horrible life but I guess it was going to have to wait. She had her own problems. Dimitri's words returned to me:

"_She's stronger than you think," he had said," And she would go out of her way to help you."_

I wanted to tell her now. I wanted to spill my soul and cry on her shoulder. She was leaving though. I may have been hurt by Dimitri in a way I never had but his words still rang true.

"Wait, Lissa."

She turned around, still scared from the thought of Victor free.

"What?"

I felt her need to talk to Christian, to cry on his shoulder. I was still her best friend but they had an unbreakable bond that even _I_ was miniscule to. I understood that right now she needed somebody to comfort her not the other way around. Her feelings and needs were more important than mine. _They come first_. So I let her go.

"Have fun, and don't worry."

I tried my best to smile once more.

As I walk back to my dorm I tried to think about anything but Dimitri. Didn't work as well as I had planned. I began remembering how caring and perfect he was. I missed him so much. I felt like my heart had already been torn apart from Mason dying. Like he was the stiches holding it together, without it my heart fell apart.

I was to busy thinking about my broken anatomy to notice that I walked straight into a guy. A new guy.

I looked up to apologize but instead I found myself staring into some chocolaty brown eyes. Friendly eyes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay? I feel terrible."

"Ya, I'm fine."

"Oh, okay…"

I could see the Dhampir taking me in.

"I'm Justin by the way..I just transferred here from Romania."

"Justin? Very Romanian"

He laughed," I have moved all around ever since my mom got killed."

"I'm sorry."

The difference between him and other guys was he wasn't staring at my body and he wasn't even flirting with me. I wasn't ready for that quite yet. Instead he was acting just like Eddie. Friendly but not to friendly.

He gave me a smile," It's fine, so what's your name?"

I took in a deep breath looking at him, "Rose, Rose Hathaway."

I hoped with all my heart that he wasn't a really good actor because the last thing I needed was another guy to break my heart in love.

**AN: I want rose to hav a new friend :)**

**If u think he should be more u know what to do**

**REVIEW!!!!!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I dont own these books**

"Want to go have some lunch?"

His words broke my thoughts

"Lunch, already?"

He laughed again, "I don't know about there but in Romania we eat lunch at about this time."

"What time is it?"

His eyes got nicer just looking at him

"About 1:30."

Already? I guess I had stayed in bed longer than I thought.

As we walk I started thinking about Dimitri again. How understanding he was. Justin seemed great but without Mason and Dimitri…well….I just didn't know how I would go on.

When we came to the cafeteria, I noticed how many guardians were there. It was quite amazing. There were like triple the usual amount.

I walked over to the food still looking puzzling at the guardians.

"What's the best thing to eat?" Justin asked

"Ummm…it's all pretty good.."

"Okay."

I could tell he thought I was a little weird considering the fact I hadn't talked to him until a second ago since we bumped into each other.

"So..Um..Where else did you live?"

He looked up at me for a second, shocked that I_ could_ actually talk before he said, "All around, I went to this academy in Britain for a little while but then I moved to Argentina for a little bit, I finally spent four years in Romania."

"Oh, cool, so your dad moves around a lot?"

"No, I don't know who my dad is."

"But then. Why did you move?" I said, I could hear the shock in my voice.

I didn't surprise me that he didn't know his dad. In fact I didn't know my dad either, most Dhampir didn't but what did is how much he moved around.

"I got expelled once and another one I had such a bad reputation that the headmaster thought I should leave."

I almost laughed, why did_ I_ have to meet the one guy on school who didn't know right from wrong.

"Aren't scared of me are you?"

I looked at him.

"_Scared?"_

"Ya, scared. I have that affect on some people I meet."

"I'm not scared. But what about Romania? You only named two reasons."

"I am suppose to become……"

He pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and read it.

"The new guardian for Vasilisa Dragonmir"

"_What are you talking about?!"_

_**AN:**_** I left you guys at a cliff hanger..MWHAHAHA**

**:)**

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry i havent written in a couple days. I had a project due**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the Vampire Academy books  
**

_What was he talking about?!_

"No you aren't actually." I knew I sounded bitchy but he couldn't.

He stared at me for a second confused before his confusion turned to determination. It was then that I realised how much like Mason he was. Justin would take any challenge.

"Well, that's what the head guardian told me. I wouldn't have been called away from Romania if it wasn't true."

I quickly tried to keep my mouth from coming open with no avail. I could hear my breath come out with a _whoosh_. This was just way too much for anyone and all in one day?

I wouldn't be surprised if I just fainted dead away. I mean I could handle Victor getting released on a _good day_. I could handle, who was I kidding? Of course I couldn't handle Dimitri leaving but I could pretend. But this was just way too much. A badass kid who's basically gotten expelled twice watching over Lissa with me? I mean Justin was cool so far but there was a chance that Dimitri could come back right?

I tripped over a table leg and was caught by one of the many guardians standing around. Alberta.

"Hello Miss Hathaway," She nodded at Justin, "and you Mr Valahoya."

"You know him?" That was a pretty stupid question because Alberta knew almost every novice.

She looked surprised, "Of course Rose, I would think you would to because he is your partner I guardian Vasilisa."

Even though I already knew it, it still felt like someone had punched me. Again. I was getting quite beat up today.

"I do know him but what about Eddie or another novice like him to guard Lissa, she deserves the best."

Now Justin decided it was his turn to speak up. "And you don't think I'm the best?"

His eyes looked over me in a sweeping motion trying to size me up.

"No."

"Rose Hathaway!" Alberta's voice rang out, "Have you seen him fight and defend?"

Once again I answered, "No."

This time though I was embarrassed.

"Well then, don't say he isn't the best and stop acting like you are the only one who cares about Miss Dragonmir because you aren't! I know that Dimitri leaving is bothering you, mentors leaving can be hard but you're a guardian, you can deal with it."

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

She nodded her head, "Good, now if you don't mind I have to go and check on one of the new guardians." Her tone still held an edge; "I will see you all later."

When she left Justin looked at me for a second.

"You don't think I'm a good guardian?"

"I never said that, I just said you weren't the best."

"You think you are?"

"I know I'm better than you." I didn't mean it to be so mean but tired of all of this. I didn't have the control today.

"Then you won't have a problem winning against me?"

"What are you talking about, Justin?"

"After school in the gym, we fight."

So I know that I should've said no but when challenged I can't back down. Also I needed a chance to show him that he was out of place.

"Fine"

I turned around and walked the other way, not waiting to listen to what he was going to say.

The rest of the day past as a blur. In Stan's class I kept scanning the back of the room for Dimitri only to have that numb feeling spread over my body when I remembered that he wasn't there. I ate lunch with Lissa, barely listening to what she had to say. I missed Dimitri so much. Every time I remembered that he wasn't going to be there after school I felt another part of my heart getting pulled away.

After school I walked to the gym. When I got there Justin was waiting.

"Here," He threw me some gloves, "let's start."

And without any more words we started.

**AN: Ya so the fight is gonna be in the next chapter which should be out by monday..**

**over 200 people read the story and only 13 reviewed so please please review!!!!!!**

**I'll give you an e-cookie**

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	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So here is the fight!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Academy Books  
**

He was a lot faster than he looked. As he punched and stepped and dodge his tawny hair flew around. It was like fighting Dimitri. He threw a punch only to have me duck and throw my own. I fought with more power than I had since fighting the Strigoli but I didn't have Christian to help me right now. If I messed up I lost, no second chances or sudden burnings. I was on my own.

I didn't quite know who I was fighting as I fought Justin. Maybe my mom, maybe Dimitri for leaving me. And maybe, just maybe, myself. My heart picked rhythm but I didn't get tired. The running had helped me.

As I turned to fire another hard kick, Justin got me right in the stomach. He leapt at his chance to overpower but he underestimated me and my speed. I jumped to the side right as he launched himself at me. I quickly jumped up and hit him squarely in the chest, pushing him to the ground. I tried to pin him down. Damn, he was fast! He took the moment that I hesitated trying to pin him down to roll away from me. We both stood up at the same time again circling each other. My breath was ragged and came out I gasps.

He looked almost as bad as me. Except that instead of his eyes betraying anger and determination, they were impressed. I staggered for a moment in shock. Here we were fighting a fight till death (so to speak) and while I wanted to beat him so bad that he crawled off somewhere in embarrassment. He was admiring me for how well I fought. Not even for my exotic look or body. Simply because he knew I could kick anybodies ass. Well except for his…

I finally did something that would end the fight. I jumped at him. Only to be slammed onto the ground and held down by his hands.

"You give?" He asked

"In your dreams!"

I turned over forcing him on his back.

"How bout you?"

He stared up at me trying to squirm out of his grasp. It didn't work.

"Fine, I give," He have me a smile that would have melted any heart except my cold one. "I see you really are the best."

I had to return the smile, "You know it."

Just then Adrian walked in, "Wow, rolling around with every guy except me?"

I rolled my eyes, "What is it Adrian?"

"Well..See the thing is that Christian's aunt--"

"What happened to Tasha??"

I wasn't actually that worried about her per say because she had been the one Dimitri left me for but I was worried about him. If something happened to him while guarding her, I wouldn't have a reason for living anymore.

"She's been kidnapped."

"And was her guardian, is Dimitri okay?"

"He's missing too."

I swear I felt my heart stop.

**AN: If i get at least 6 more reviews i will have the next chapter out by Wednesday, but if i get less by Wednesday then it will be out Fri so**

**REVIEW  
REVIEW**

**by the way when i wrote this there are 15 reviews  
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	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Here it is!!! Thanks everybody for the reviews. **

**(Standard Disclaimers Apply)  
**

"No, but he can't…I mean…he went to Russia right?" My voice was hysterical, "Right?!"

Justin looked like he was debating to run out the door or ask what was going on. Adrian looked very uncomfortable.

"Well..You might want to sit down.." His nodded towards a chair.

"I don't need to sit down!" I yelled.

Then i looked at my hands, which were balled in to fists. I also noticed I was shaking.

"Okay, I'll sit down." I nodded, which was hard considering the fact I was shaking like crazy still.

Adrian nodded for once his eyes didn't have a joke in them.

"He flew to the court to meet Tasha there. Supposedly they were suppose to talk about the arrangement." He swallowed, "When they got there they took a walk.."

"AND?!"

"They didn't come back..."

"So they could have just wandered off right?" I sounded like I was a mental case.

Justin looked like he thought I was one.

Adrian chewed on his bottom lip.

"No, I'm really sorry Rose but they found the other guardian with them was…dead."

"No," My voice was a little over a whisper. "No, Dimitri wouldn't, _couldn't,_ be.." My voice broke off.

"Rose? Are you okay? I mean…" Justin seemed confused but it was nice that he cared.

I took a deep breath. I had to stop now. I needed to get out. Away from anyone. I needed someone to hold me and say it was okay but nobody would, _or could_ the way Dimitri had. I needed to be strong. I felt my heart grow a shield around it.

"Ya, I'm fine, thanks." I was surprised at how natural my voice sounded.

"Rose.." Adrian's voice sounded cautions

" I said I'm fine, Adrian." I tried my attempt at a smile, "I think I should probably head back to my room." My voice sounded hallow, I didn't sound human.

Justin looked at me with those amazing eyes of his, "You sure you're okay? You seem.."

He dropped off when Adrian gave him a _Shut-Up-she-might-be-coping _look.

"Thanks guys, I got to go mend these bruises that Justin gave to me."

They both stared at me like I was crazy.

As I walked away I heard Justin whisper to Adrian, "Who's Dimitri?"

When I got to my room, I fell on my bed in tears. I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing. The kind of sobbing that racks your lungs and chest. The kind that makes you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. The kind that makes you pour like a faucet. My heart was heavy. Hell it probably wasn't there anymore.

I curled up in a ball. I heard a quiet knock on my door at one moment.

"Rose, Rose, I heard what happened, I'm sad too." Lissa's voice rang out clear.

"Rose, I know you're in there, let me in, he was going to be my guardian, remember?"

I just let her knock. I didn't want to pretend to be strong. I wasn't strong. I didn't want to pretend it was all okay or that I would get over it because I couldn't. So I just let her knock and curled up in a tighter ball and held my breath hoping she would go away.

I heard her voice through the bond._"Are you okay? Meet me in my dorm."_

I didn't go though. Instead I snuck out when she was eating dinner and left a note on her door.

_** I'm tired tonight. Talk to you tomorrow.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Rose**_

When I got back to the room, I got in bed. I didn't want to but I did. I fell asleep. I hoped it would be dreamless. No luck.

I dreamed about a dark forest.

I heard a voice, "Watch your step."

I looked down, there was a big root sticking out.

"Thanks. Who are you?"

A man stepped out from behind a tree.

"Surprise." Victor's voice rang out.

**AN: Wow, i like leaving stories at cliff hangers**

**Okay, so if i get 20 more reviews i will update by Saturday,**

**Less than 20 ill get it sometime next week so you might want to **

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	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Sorry this chapter took so long. I was on a trip and didn't get very good internet.**

**:(**

**So here it is..  
**

My eyes flew open. My breath came out ragged. Victor couldn't be in my dream. He couldn't, it was impossible. Only spirit users could that. In fact, only Adrian could stalk my dreams. Victor was an earth user. It was only a nightmare. My breath started to return to it's usual pace.

Some little voice inside me told me that it wasn't just a dream though. Something warned me. I shook it off and decided to go and get some fresh air.

I pulled on some sweat pants and an old T-shirt. When I went to the mirror I eyed myself carefully. I thought about how I looked a morning ago and decided that compared to this I looked amazing the morning before.

My eyes were puffy and bloodshot from to much crying. My lips were bleeding and cracked. My hair looked like an explosion had happened. It was sticking up in every direction and was so tangled that I was scared to run a comb through it because it the comb would probably snap. I grabbed some chap stick as well as a brush.

Once I had managed to pull my hair into a messy ponytail, I walked out. My lips still burned from the chap stick and I felt horrible. I wasn't hungry or thirsty. I wasn't feeling sick either. I just felt horrible.

It was kind of hard to explain but it was this wound that didn't heal on its own. I felt almost dead. Each breath of air came in hollow and came out. I could almost feel the air go through my lungs. I decided to go running. I didn't like running but I figured that I could find something else to think about.

I started running. My feet patted a steady rhythm. When I started to get tired I closed my eyes to concentrate on keeping to the pattern only to bump straight into--

"_Justin! _What are you doing up?"

The sun had just set but usually people didn't start getting up for another hour.

"Great to see you too Rose." He smirked before turning considered, "How are you holding up?"

"Um..." I tried to change the subject, "How are you?"

I tried my best at a smile. Judging by the look on his face it probably looked more like I ate a lemon.

"I'm fine... It's okay to be sad, Rose."

"Sad about what?"

"Rose, Adrian wouldn't tell me who Dimitri was but I know he must have been someone you loved."

"I just.. I mean…How can I do what is right when all I feel is pain?"

Sobs started to break in my chest. Before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me. It wasn't romantic or anything but it felt nice. Like a warm blanket on a cold day.

"You are an amazing person and an amazing guardian. You will do what is right.." He whispered to me.

I broke away.

"Come on, the sun is almost set."

He nodded and we walked back together, not touching or talking, but somehow I felt better.

**AN: Thanks to everyone who commented!!! Keep on doing it and i will hav the next chapter out by tuesday!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I'm so sry guys. I know i said i would write tues. but i got really caught up in stuff so thanks to everybody that did review..It meant a lot!**

I looked at the crimson sunset. The evergreen trees majestically loomed over us. He draped his jacket over my shoulders, making me instantly warm. I looked up at the academy's huge stone building and wishing that I could somehow forget. Just to wake up one day and be normal. Like actually normal… Like the kind that you see laughing in the streets of Missoula. The human kind of normal.

Justin squeezed my shoulder, "It will be okay, I promise…"

"My stories don't have happy endings anymore." I could barely hear myself I was so quiet.

"How can you be so sure?"

That surprised me. Someone hadn't had that much faith in me since...Dimitri…

It must have shown on my face because he looked at me confused.

"What?" He asked in a confused tone.

"Um.. It's just..." I started again, "I..."

"Forget it" He smiled, "If you need to talk I'm here though if you need me."

"K but I think I better go get ready for. I mean I have to go talk to Lissa."

He nodded, "Bye Rose."

My dorm suddenly seemed really far away. I hated these walks by myself. It only gave me time to think about what happened. How could Dimitri get defeated? I knew he wasn't perfect but he was still the best guardian I had ever met. And why would the Strigoi want Tasha so bad. She wasn't a bad person but she wasn't royal like the queen, or the last of her kind like Lissa. I knew that Strigoi didn't have much preference on which Mori they killed but they wouldn't go through so much trouble to get into the Royal Court, which was the most heavily guarded place that Mori lived and only have taken Tasha and Dimitri. If the Strigoi had gotten in there then, why would they not go for the jackpot?

Suddenly the answer came to me. It wasn't the Strigoi who had taken them away. It was somebody much smarter, somebody with much more power, and somebody with jade eyes. I had to warn everybody.

I turned around and headed the way toward Moroi dorm. I wanted to get there as quick as possible. I needed to tell Lissa_ everything._ I only had one question that was unanswered. How did Victor get in my dream?

As I walked into the Moroi dorm commons, I heard somebody sneak up behind me. I didn't want to take any chances that it was an enemy. I turned quick and grabbed the thing's wrist flipping it.

"Ow.." Adrian groaned

"Oh. Sorry, you shouldn't have snuck up on me though."

Some people were staring. I didn't want to have the conversation in public.

"Where are you going Rose?" Adrian's voice was very curios.

"Lissa's…I think I'm ready to tell her."

**AN: Here it is!!!**

**If you think there is anything i need to improve on REVIEW!!  
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**Otherwise still review!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This chapter is really really short! I know! But I'm kinda trying to focus on my other story so...im sorry!!**

"About Dimitri?" Adrian asked.

"Ya. I think she's ready for it."

"Do you want me to come?"

He smiled a half smile.

"No I'm ready to do this…alone."

I walked over to Lissa's, knowing that I couldn't turn back now. When I knocked I heard a rush inside the room before Lissa opened it.

"Rose?" Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily, "What are you doing here?"

Christian poked his head out from the door.

"Who is it Lissa?" His also seemed out of breath. "Oh it's only Rose.."

"I'm so glad you care about me so much"

Lissa ignored both of us. "Rose..Um I'm really sorry but...."

"Oh"

Here I was ready to spill my soul and she was to busy? But because she was my best friend I nodded, tried hard to smile and walked away. My life was a mess.

**AN: Thanks to all those who review or r in the process..(hint)**

**Um my next chapter should be longer..**

**It would really encorge me if you REVIEW!!!!!**

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**thanks all..  
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	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hi guys...ITS FINALLY HERE...I'm actually not that slow of a typer i just had somethings to do.. but today i was in a good mood because my bday is in 2 days so i decided to make you guys happy..i hope it makes you guys happy**

***thinks for a while*  
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**Okay dokey..ENJOY**

**(Standard disclaimers apply)  
**

My classes flew by. I kept looking around waiting for Lissa to appear over my shoulder with some advice, some wisdom words, _anything._ But she never did. I didn't see her hovering around thoughtfully either. When I tried to sense her, all I could feel from her was her usual feelings, it seemed like the whole Victor thing hadn't affect her at all. From the outside she could hide her feelings okay but hiding them completely, to her self, that was different.

I didn't know what was wrong with her but it seemed like something was. I decided to talk to her. This time I wouldn't take no as an answer. She had four fricken hours with Christian and this was important.

"Shit!" I had tripped over an old log. I touched my face, it stung. It didn't hurt very much though so I decided I'd clean it up later.

I can just imagine what Dimitri would say.

"Rose, do you _want _to get an infection?" or "Let's go get that cleaned up."

Ouch, that hurt though. Just thinking of him, turned the little scratch on my face into a dagger wound.

As I walked I heard two voices arguing close to me. Two _very_ familiar voices.

"Justin, you can't tell her that I told you!"

"Get off of me Adrian! You know I could take you any day!"

A small scuffle was heard.

"Promise me you won't!"

"What are we, in 7th grade? What's with all the secrets?"

"Justin, you need to understand that she loves him, more than you, anybody can imagine…"

"So?! It's wrong."

I walked into the clearing where they were standing. Adrian had mud all over his back.

"Comparing notes?"

"_Rose!!" _Both their voices rang out.

"So what are you doing?" I was happy that my voice wasn't hollow anymore.

"Um..well.." Justin looked uncomfortable.

"We were just leaving." Adrian shot a pointed look at Justin before turning to me, "You okay?"

"Yep, you know me just dandy." I regretted it right away. The sarcasm oozed through the words like pus.

A look of pure sorry shone on Adrian's eyes.

"I'm really sorry to leave you but I need to go.."

"I'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll see you around.."

He walked back the way I had come.

I turned to face Justin only to have a gasp come from him.

"Rose, your face!"

I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm serious! You have a huge cut on your cheek." He looked me over like a parent looking over their sick child. "And you're crying.."

He seemed amazed.

"I am?"

I put my hand to my cheek and felt tears and.. a gash. I was surprised, I was pretty sure I had gotten all over the crying stage. No wonder people had been looking at me funny during class.

"Let's go get you cleaned up."

Dimitri. That's what Dimitri would say. How_ could_ he?! Bringing back the pain when it had faded away for a second.

"Rose?" His voice was calming. Like the one you would use with a wild, crazy animal.

Unfortunately I was in worse shape then any animal at the moment, wild or crazy, so it didn't have much affect on me.

"I'll be fine, Justin. You can go." I waved my hand. "Bye now.."

He caught my hand. His was warm, comforting.

"You don't have to do this alone Rose. I'm here for you."

I took a deep breath. I wanted him to stay by my side. But I couldn't.

"Justin," I bit my lip, "Go away. Please."

He turned and walked away. I wanted to call out but something in me didn't trust him.

**AN:I know it's kinda a depressing chapter but i should cheer up soon**

**:D**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I'm sorry for the delay!!!**

**I haven't written in a reallllllyyyy long time. I've kinda been writing little half page things**

**that i don't end up typing or anything, this is a couple of them that are combined together. In an organized way..**

_Victor,_

_I can't do this any more. I think I'm falling for her. I can't hurt her, even if it means _

_betraying you. You have been so good to me and I thank you for that but I don't know _

_how I can hurt her. You may think I'm crazy for giving up your dream, and maybe I am but love does crazy things to you. _

_Sincerely,_

His hand paused. He couldn't do this. He then turned, ripped the letter up and threw it in the trash, he couldn't betray Victor. Not after everything Victor had done for him. Not when they were so close to the final result. He had too much at stake. He just needed one minute alone with Lissa….

**RPOV**

"You _what_?!"Lissa's voice rang out, "You and Dimitri?!?"

People turned their heads and stared at us.

"Shh..Let's go to your dorm and I'll explain."

On the way from the clearing I met Lissa in the lounge and had blurted out my secret.

She, as expected, was hurt and shocked.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me, I'm your best friend."

"I'm sorry Lissa! Okay?! It's not really the best conversation starter." Sarcasm filled my voice. "Hey, I'm in love with my mentor, who also happens to be like a foot taller than me and is seven years older than me."

Lissa chewed on her lip for a second. She took a minute but the she understood.

"Fine I forgive you. But you have to tell me EVERYTHING!"

We went into her dorm and I told her. I stopped only once to get a drink of water. Lissa sat there nodding and listened. She interrupted only for clarifying questions and didn't make judging remarks. I could feel her urge to ask millions of questions but she kept quiet and got me a Kleenex when I started to cry. Her shock was equal in the fact that I was in love with Dimitri and that I was crying.

I tried not to let the tears spill over. Me, the invincible Rose, the one who never cried, was doing more crying in this past week than I think I had done in my life.

Lissa hugged me and whispered, "It will be okay I promise."

**AN: Review!!!!! oh and read the next chapter even though its a author's note.**


	13. Author's Note

**AN:**

**I'm sorry.. I know how much everyone hates these..**

**I'm trying to write but all I get is sad, long drawn out plots that I know I will give up on so I would love to hear your suggestions cause I've got_ nada_ planned after chapter 12.**

**BUT I will not make it a RosexJustin.**

**I'm sorry but I like Dimitri to much**

****

**Thanks!!!**

**-Lily**


	14. Chapter 13

**An: Hey, I no it took me like a LONG time to write. I'm rly rly sry. U probably thought i was ending the story. I'm not. I'm hope i can actully write a little faster this time. Anyways, heres a longer chapter. Once again im so sry. Btw to all those to reviewed and sent me a message i appreciate it. Espesally thanks to all those who favorited me. I would put down all your names but i hav no idea how to find it so review and tell me if u no. Anyways i'm sorry i didn't respond my computer had problems.**

**Read away now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

"Rose, have you lost your touch?" Victor's voice shattered restless sleep. He didn't look any worse then when Lissa healed him. "I never knew you to stop fighting." His voice teased me.

"I am fighting, and one day I will win." In dreams, I was always so much more collected. I actually felt like I could pull through this.

"Dimtri's gone and you're worried about Justin." Victor scoffed. "Justin couldn't hurt a fly, you know that."

My coolness wavered, "How do you know about Justin?"

"I'm in your dreams. I am you. We aren't so different, you know."

"No! I'm not like you! I don't hurt innocent people."

"Maybe your right. The Rose I know wouldn't wait to see if Dimitri would pull out on his own though." Victor arched his eyebrow.

"Dimitri made it clear how he felt about me."

"So in a way you are hurting innocent people. Leaving Dimitri to die because of your pride.." Victor sneered, "That doesn't sound so different from me."

"No. It's not like that." My voice wavered.

"Really?" He stared at me with his jade eyes for a second before turning away, "I have to leave now. I have some business to attend with or rather _you_ have some business to attend to"

Right before he disappeared, I heard a voice that hurt to think about. To dream about.

"Rose, help me."

"Dimitri!" My voice shattered the silence. "Wait!"

My eyes popped open and I rolled over on my side. My cut burned from the tears that had fallen on it. I sat up slowly and tried to remember my dream. This one had Dimitri. Of course almost every night a dream with him in it appeared. The one place I couldn't run from him, in my dreams. This one seemed real though, like he was there. I missed him so much. I had a huge gaping hole where my heart use to be. I didn't understand how he could leave me.

I punched my pillow. Before I knew I was tearing, my pillow in to shreds. Just like Dimitri had done with my heart. I twisted and pulled it, until feathers flew around me like snow. Just like when we sat on the balcony. The sun was shining somewhere but it wasn't here. It was like a huge cloud sat right in front of the sun.

It scared me that Victor might be right. Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I should be fighting for Dimitri.

I got up and got dressed in a plain t-shirt and jeans. I saw the black dress hanging up. The one I wore when Dimitri and me were under Victor's Lust spell almost made me start tearing up another pillow. I had to get myself together. This wasn't me. I had to talk to someone. But the only person I needed to talk to wasn't here. He was in trouble and I wasn't helping him because he didn't want me.

I walked over to the Moroi dorms before turning around suddenly. Lissa couldn't know about this. She wouldn't let me go, or worse she would want to come. I couldn't put her in danger like that as her guardian, but as her friend, I had no choice but to bring her along.

"Going somewhere?" I jumped and got ready to attack the voice.

"Shit, Justin, you scared me." When I saw who it was I relaxed. "What are you doing at the Moroi dorms?"

He looked sheepish, "I went over to see if you were at you dorm. When you weren't I had a feeling you were with Lissa. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh. Um. Well, I am."

"Okay. I guess I'm not needed then." He turned around to go before he stopped. "Rose, I know about Dimitri and....I'm sorry."

That froze me. I didn't move or twitch. I'm pretty sure I didn't even blink. He turned and ran off. He was already way out of earshot when I gained control again.

"How?" I said quietly to myself. Then it hit me. Adrian. He was in for an ass kicking. Now.

He answered on the first knock.

"What the hell?" I did the scary voice I did so well.

"Rose?" Adrian's voice looked worried "I'm Adrian. I'm not any ghost or anything."

"Good, I can do this then." I raised my arm to punch him.

"Rose, stop. You don't want to blame me." His voice became shining and his eyes looked straight at me. I agreed with him completely. Just as I put my fist down, a knock sounded. It distracted him enough to break his spell over me. He had tried to compel me! I quickly took my opening and punched him. Hard. Really hard. He fell to the ground. I figured he didn't need more then that. I didn't want to hurt him _that_ bad.

The knocking became more insistent and I opened the door. It was Justin. He immediately became embarrassed.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know—I mean I—"

"We aren't. Not anywhere close."

"Oh well, um..So.." He cleared his throat. "Rose—"

"Justin," I smiled sweetly, "Shut up."

He looked so flustered I almost laughed. Almost.

"You are going to forget what Adrian told you, or I will make you." My voice turned menacing, "Understand?"

He had regained his composure. "What are you going to do? Compel me?"

"If you want to know check out Adrian, except I won't be so nice with someone who can fight back." With that, I walked away. I heard him calling something stupid behind me but I ignored it. Just like everything else in my life ignored.

**AN: Okay dokey. Kinda sad ya? Anyways i no I need some cheering up. Send me a review and make my day as well as anyone else who reads it and just rly feels for me**

**:P**

**REVIEW PLEASE **

**if i get 20 reviews ill update by Friday (y yes i am back to bribing)**


	15. Chapter 14

**AN: Well, yeah, it's been a while. I'm sorry about the wait. It's been what? a year? Yeah well, here it is. No promises about updating. Just that I will. Eventually...**

**By the way I started this story before Blood Promise, and Spirit Bound. So if something doesn't match up or whatever, thats why. **

**(Disclaimers)**

I sat at the foot of my bed, cross-legged, staring at the wall. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. None. I didn't even have a stake, I couldn't just run after Victor or Strigoi, but what choice did I have? I loved Dimitri, with every fiber of my being, and just because he didn't feel the same way... I had to go. But where was I to go? I had no idea, but I knew someone who would know. As much as I hated him, he would know.

When I finally fell asleep that night, I dreamt of Dimitri and the night of the lust spell. Except I was watching this happen from third person. All I could look at was Dimitri; he looked actually happy, in an animal-passion filled way. Dream Dimitri didn't have any problems with Dream Rose. When he finally pushed me, the one on the bed, away to drop the necklace out the window, I knew, somehow, that I needed the necklace if I wanted to talk to Victor.

When he went to the window, I came to the window as well staying out of his way, but in his line of sight. I figured that he probably wouldn't care if he saw me, considering this was my dream. Not the past or reality. When he tossed the necklace out of the old window, I leapt. I found myself flying threw the air, right next to the necklace. I landed softly, much more softly than I should have, considering the height, right next to the necklace.

Now was the moment of truth, would my master plan work? I grabbed the necklace tightly.

"Victor?" I shouted. "I know you're there." I tried to keep my tone civil. As civil as yelling can be, I wanted to sound sure of myself, grown up.

So far, nothing was happening. I looked around some more.

"Victor, I'm _done _playing games. Get over here. Now!" I felt like stamping my foot, but that might not help the whole grown up thing.

The last word died out in the emptiness. Oh, well, so much for my plan. Just as I turned to set the necklace down, I heard something.

"Hello?" I glanced around cautiously.

"You don't have to yell, Rose. I'm right here."

I whirled around to see Victor standing in front of me.

"Can I help you?"

"Where is he?" I couldn't get the words out fast enough. "Where is Dimitri?"

Victor smiled widely. "And why would you think I would have him?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Because you're a jerk. And you would do something as terrible as this."

"If I tell you, how can I be sure you won't tell the guardians just exactly where he and Tasha are?" He asked.

Truth be told, I hadn't really thought about doing that. It was probably smarter then running off alone. But since when had I been smart?

"Perhaps, we can make some sort of deal...?" He continued. "Come alone, and Dimitri will _not _be hurt. Come with...friends and I'm afraid you might have to say good-bye to Belikov. Choose to not come at all, and well, you won't even have a chance to say goodbye."

Wow, he some how managed to make blackmail sound like a choice. Like I could choose to kill Dimitri. He was good. If he weren't so evil, twisted and terrible, I would definitely ask him to teach me.

There was no question about which choice I would choose, I wanted Dimitri alive and well.

"Where is he then?"

**Reviews are highly encouraged. **


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